Do you ever wonder how your life might end, when your time will run out, or what you will leave this world? Do you consider how much time you have left and what you want to do with it? Have you ever asked yourself: ‘What’s the reason for my existence?’ ‘What am I achieving by being here?’
Life is a mystery, a gift passed to us from our parents, but it is also a challenge. Often, it can only be through darkness that we learn to reach the light. Life’s challenges are an inevitability; it is how we deal with them and cope with them, often at moments of crisis, that define us and ultimately strengthen us. For reasons unknown – God, perhaps, or the nature of the universe – we tend not to be given more than we can handle. That can be a heart-warming thought when all hope seems lost, when we think we cannot cope.
All of this brings us neatly to one of life’s true heroes, an example like no other: English bowel cancer campaigner, Dame Deborah James.
Some time ago I wrote about palliative care and dedicated part of it to her. A happily married teacher and mother of two, after being told her illness was terminal she became a journalist, podcaster, author, and charity campaigner, to raise awareness of the early signs and symptoms of bowel cancer – signs that could save lives.
Dame Deborah truly embraced both her life and her destiny. When she learned that the cancer had spread, that her body was struggling, and that she now had incurable Stage 4 bowel cancer, she created the ‘Bowelbabe’ Fund for Cancer Research UK, to raise money through online fundraising. Her JustGiving page had topped £7.3 million for the charity at the time of writing.
The brave Dame’s life came to an end on 28 June, at the tender age of 40. Across the UK, her death was met with great sadness. She may have been young, but she touched the lives of millions through her work and was hailed as a true inspiration. Originally from London, she spent her last years fighting to raise awareness of what she like to call “the glam cancer”, always approaching her illness and struggles with a sense of humor, while speaking openly - and in cruel detail - about her experience of with living with a life-limiting and incurable illness. Due to her, many more people now know to watch for the symptoms, such as “pooing blood”.
One of the biggest obstacles to this potentially life-saving knowledge, she said, is that “we aren’t frank enough”. She sought to change that be being as frank as possible. She knew that we live in a society in which bowel cancer - and everything related to it – can be taboo. Likewise, she knew that this could mean that the people affected by bowel cancer do not go to the doctor until it is too late, because they feel embarrassed.
Dame Deborah had a huge impact not just in life but in dying. She achieved more in her last five years than most people achieve in a lifetime. In so doing, she taught the world far more than just the signs of bowel cancer. She taught people how to live life to the max, and ultimately, how to die.
She was brutally honest about her destiny and faced death in the eyes. Until her dying breath, she demonstrated that life is worth living to its fullest and that achievements are possible right up to the end. As her family said when announcing her death: “Deborah shared her experience with the world to raise awareness, break barriers, challenge taboos and change the conversation around cancer.”
Her final two months were a whirlwind. She was given a damehood by Prince William. She published her second book. She was the star of the RHS Chelsea Flower Show. She created her own fashion label from which 100 percent of the profits go towards her BowelBabe fund (more than £1m so far). She even released a white rose under her name – the “Deborah James Rose” - for which a share of the sale goes to her charity. She continued living, too. Together with her husband, she went to the Glyndebourne Festival Opera one last time. It was here, exactly five years earlier, that she had received her Stage 4 diagnosis.
In the very same spirit of honesty, she spoke of being “scared” of what was to come, and of “taking things one day at the time”. Her final words, movingly, urged people to “find a life worth enjoying, take risks, love deeply, have no regrets, and always, always have rebellious hope. Finally, check your poo. It could save your life”.
Rebellious hope is truly what got Dame Deborah through the last five years. A few weeks before dying, she said she felt grateful to be able to enjoy a moment of sunshine on her face. It was about trying to find the diamond moments, the diamonds in the rough, which - if you looked hard for - you found were still there. Now that she is no longer here, her family have been left with hope and comfort, fuelled by her life-saving legacy, and a desire to continue her work, to keep her marvellous spirit alive
She inspired the world to live with courage and keep a sense of rebellious hope through the darkest moments and biggest challenges. This is what a genuinely fulfilled life is all about.
